Mediator & Mediation Services | SOS Success

Ma te rongo, ka mohio
Ma to mohio, ka marama
Ma te marama, ka matau
Ma te matau, ka ora
From listening comes knowledge. From knowledge comes understanding.
From understanding comes wisdom. From wisdom comes well being.

Where mediation can help

Conflict is inevitable as we live and work together in the various situations that life presents and where we often need to have difficult conversations.

Our mediators assist our clients to have these conversations in a structured and safe process. We support those involved to gain a better understanding of each other's perspectives and find a way forward.

We offer a flexible and consensus-based approach to dispute resolution. We do this by working with parties to design a process that fits their needs and enables them to find ways to resolve conflict.

Our goals are to reach mutual agreements, restore relationships and move forward. These can seem like big mountains in some cases but believe us it can be done!

We provide specialised, accredited mediation for all sorts of disputes

Business, Partnerships and Joint Ventures

Kelly’s background as a corporate lawyer, business owner and director assists her to mediate business disputes. SOS Success can assist business partners to:

understand how their dispute has arisen
communicate more effectively in the future
facilitate an ending to the business relationship, if that becomes necessary, to enable a smooth transition for the parties and their clients.

Corporate Body, Board of Trustees, Sports Club and Community Organisations

As an experienced director, board member and previous national sports organisation chair, Kelly understands how disputes in this area need resolution quickly and in a cost-efficient way.

SOS Success can assist boards, clubs and organisations to:

understand how a dispute has arisen
understand the different perspectives
find workable solutions
communicate more effectively in the future
find strategies to deal with future issues that arise

Family and relationships

SOS Success provides relationship mediation for couples who wish to stay together and enrich their relationship through more constructive communication, problem solving and conflict resolution strategies. This process is particularly successful with couples in a blended family navigating issues and concerns specific to their situation.

Family disputes

Whether you separated recently or years ago, SOS Success can help you and your ex-partner talk with each other about the issues that have arisen and create positive outcomes that put your children first, for example:

shared care of children
decisions on schooling
relocation of a parent to another city/town
the effect of a parent having a new partner
Covid-19 concerns e.g., vaccination and mask wearing
Teenagers wanting to live with one parent

SOS does not give legal advice but often works with lawyers.

Relationship property settlement

Emotional issues from the past are often behind why parties struggle to agree on relationship property. SOS Success helps people move forward from those issues and create lasting agreements that meet each person’s future needs.

We support clients to negotiate an agreement in principle. From there the parties may wish to engage their own lawyer(s) to draw up an enforceable agreement, in accordance with the Property (Relationships) Act 1976. In addition, each party must have an independent lawyer to receive legal advice before they sign their respective relationship property agreement.

SOS does not give legal advice but often works with lawyers.

Elder mediation

SOS Success helps elders have a voice, even when their physical and mental capacity is deteriorating. Our services include:

Facilitating a meeting with an elder and a representative from the care facility the elder person lives in, about issues that have arisen
Helping an elder talk with their family about their wishes, for example whether the elder stays in their own home or moves into care
Helping an elder reconcile with members of their family.

Trusts, Wills and Estates

We help families to resolve issues that can come up when a loved one dies, including having difficult conversations that you may need to have. Past emotions can hinder agreements. There are similar issues when a loved one dies without leaving a Will. SOS Success helps family members discuss:

funeral arrangements
sharing sentimental items
what to do with the estate property
when someone feels they were promised something by a deceased loved one
how to reach a resolution where some members of the family want to contest the Will.

Online Mediations

Online mediations are an opportunity to resolve issues quicker than face-to-face mediations. With no venue hire or travel fees they cost less and are useful for parties who live in different parts of New Zealand or overseas.

SOS Success uses ZOOM online technology that allows for all parties to be in the same virtual main room. SOS Success can transfer the parties into a virtual private room, to allow the parties to speak confidentially to the mediator, their lawyer, or support person. Documents can be uploaded and a settlement agreement drafted online.

Conflict Coaching

If you are facing a difficult conversation or need extra help preparing for a facilitated discussion or mediation, conflict coaching can help. SOS Success will help you learn to use language that is clear, direct and neutral so that you keep your interactions calm and reasonable - even when dealing with emotional issues. SOS Success will help you avoid self-sabotaging, blaming or game-playing, while being truly honest about what you need and want, so you can stay focused, co-operative and collaborative.

Our mediation packages are tailored per enquiry

Mediation is a charge-by-hourly rate service. Some mediations take longer than others. It is best to get an indication of your needs so we can tailor a package together to suit.

Complimentary Consultation

We are here to help. Contact us to discuss your situation so we can gain an understanding of what you need to ensure we work with you to design a process that fits your goals and enables you to find ways to resolve your conflict.

Kelly Sutton

As an experienced lawyer and accredited mediator, Kelly Sutton offers a personal and supportive approach to mediation.

Her background as a business owner, director, board member and divorce and conflict coach assists her to understand how disputes need to be resolved quickly and in a cost-efficient way so people can move forward.

“Rarely is anyone happy at the end of a court case. Mediation offers a chance for parties to try and work together in a safe environment to understand each other’s perspectives and find their own solutions.”

Mediation Frequently Asked Questions

What is mediation?

Mediation is a process for resolving disputes where an independent and unbiased mediator assists the parties to negotiate and reach a mutually satisfactory settlement.

Mediation is a faster, cheaper and less stressful way to resolve a dispute than through a Court or Tribunal or other forum.

What are the benefits of mediation?

Mediation is fast, cost effective, informal and flexible, less stressful than legal action, confidential, voluntary and more effective communication

Fast
Most resolutions result from one mediation (occasionally more), whereas using the legal process can often take years.

Cost effective
Most mediations cost very little when compared to taking legal action.

Informal and flexible
In a mediation we do not need to follow 'rules of evidence' and other legal requirements. As long as you both agree, and the law allows, we make the process work for you.

Less stressful than legal action
The Mediator will guide you through the process of identifying the issues, exploring the issues, helping you to understand each other's perspectives and solving the problem together. Legal action is usually adversarial and often reinforces conflict.

Confidential
Anything discussed in the mediation is confidential to the parties and the mediator, except in rare situations where the law requires a mediator to disclose information.

Voluntary
All parties will need to agree to attend a mediation and can leave at any time.

More effective communication
If your relationship with the other person will continue in the future, the mediation process can help you to repair your relationship and give you tools to communicate with each other more effectively in the future.

What if I don't want to see or hear the other person?

If you don’t want to see or hear the other person during a mediation, the mediator will use ‘shuttle mediation’. The mediator moves between the two rooms and carries your messages to each other. This type of mediation has similar results to face-to-face mediations. Shuttle mediation can also be done online.

What happens before the mediation?

Before the mediation, the Mediator will contact you (either face-to-face, online or by phone) to prepare you for the mediation and to answer any questions you have. The discussion will include who will attend the mediation, whether you want to bring a support person, whether the mediation will take place face-to-face or online, and whether there are any documents you wish the Mediator to look at before the mediation.

The Mediator will email you an Agreement to Mediate, setting out the guidelines for the mediation, which will be signed before or at the beginning of the mediation.

What happens during the mediation?

+The Mediator begins by explaining the mediation process

+Each party tells the Mediator how he or she sees the dispute, without interruption

+The Mediator helps the parties to identify the issues in dispute

+The Mediator helps the parties to discuss each issue

+The Mediator will have a confidential private session with each party

+The Mediator helps the parties to work out options that meet their needs and to agree on the option that best meets both their needs

+The Mediator prepares an agreement for the parties to sign

The mediator begins by explaining the mediation process
The Mediator explains the mediation process and establishes the ground rules, including that only one person speaks at a time. If you have agreed on support people being present, we will agree on what their role is.

Each party tells the Mediator how he or she sees the dispute, without interruption
The Mediator’s role is to allow you and the other party to speak without interruption, then summarise what each of you have said.

The Mediator helps the parties to identify the issues in dispute
From what you and the other party say, the Mediator will identify the issues that are underlying your conflict.

The Mediator helps the parties to discuss each issue
The Mediator helps you to talk to each other about each issue in turn. Often this is the first time that you will both have been in a safe place where you can really listen to each other and gain an understanding of how the other person feels about the issues. This is the first step to resolving your dispute.

The Mediator will have a confidential private session with each party
The Mediator will check how the mediation is going for you and answer any questions. This is a chance for you to discuss anything you might not want to raise in front of the other person.

The Mediator helps the parties to work out options that meet their needs and to agree on the option that best meets both their needsWe 'brainstorm' ideas that might meet both your needs. We then start to work more on the options that seem like they might work. Once we have all the options identified, we look at the advantages and disadvantages of each one and which one(s) best meet your needs. Often the final agreement will be a combination of the options. (Statistics tell us that at least 80% of mediations result in agreements).

The Mediator may prepare an agreement for the parties to sign
If you want to have a written agreement, the Mediator can prepare an agreement that all sign at the end of the mediation. Sometimes that agreement is all you need. However, you may wish to take the agreement to your lawyer before you sign it.

When it comes to a relationship property agreement each party must have an independent lawyer to provide legal advice before they sign their respective divorce settlement agreement. It is advisable that a lawyer drafts the settlement agreement.

What does the Mediator not do?

The Mediator does not Take sides, Give legal advice, Provide counselling, Decide the outcome for you

The Mediator does not

Take sides
The Mediator’s role is to be impartial and provide a safe environment for you and the other party to listen to each other.

Give legal advice
You are welcome to bring your lawyer to the mediation or to seek legal advice before, during or after the mediation. You may wish to have your lawyer look over any agreement you make, before you sign it.

Provide counselling
The Mediator is very experienced with helping you deal with emotions that arise during mediation. You will be able to more easily make decisions about the outcome you need.

Decide the outcome for you
Mediation allows you to be in control of the outcome and reach an agreement that meets your and the other party's needs. If you take legal action, a Judge, Arbitrator or Adjudicator will decide the outcome according to the law, which usually does n’t satisfy either party’s full needs.